If that’s all I say then
that should motivate you
to sell everything and
get to the liquor store.
It took me a “few sips”
to get into it, but this
wine is…
I DON’T KNOW.
GOOD?
I don’t even know where
the wine comes from. Yet.
Don’t care.
Didn’t bother reading the label.
I still haven’t “gone educational”
and I’m past the shoulder.
Taurus?
Sagittarius?
Oh, how silly of me…
I CAN’T HELP IT.
This Pinot Noir goes with yellow pants.
Swiveling hips.
Harmony.
Brown skin.
Brotherly love.
Puppies and kittens.
Warm solar rays on a cold day.
Commission-free option trades.
Oops, I’m Earthbound and down…
And for the record…
Brown Lab: Am I your favorite
thing?
OWTN: Well Sweetie, there are
lots of “things” out there.
BL: Well, am I your favorite
BROWN thing?
OTWN: I don’t know. There’s
chocolate and…
BL: Then am I your favorite brown
thing that poops in the yard?
OTWN (thinking seriously):
Well maybe. At least until
I catch Halle Berry
poopin’ in my yard.
Look at those GSDs. Based upon their
“positioning”, I’d say they are more
intelligent than central bankers.
See how “interesting” this wine
is?
Saint Peter: Why does your brain
look like swiss cheese?
OTWN: I lived on Earth.
SP: Why didn’t you take drugs
like everybody else?
OTWN: I wasn’t thinking.
SP: Nobody else was. Why should
you be different?
OTWN: I drank Pinot Noir.
SP: Ah yes. What kind did
you like the best?
OTWN: I don’t know. My eyesight
got blurry by the time I
got curious about what I was
drinking.
SP: Saint Gregory should be able
to fix your eyesight.
OTWN: Which one?
SP: Huh?
OTWN: Which saint, not which eye,
don’t be silly.
SP: Go stand in the corner and
don’t trip over those CAB drinkers.
Prequel…
St. Gregory (du jour): How can
I help you my son?
OTWN: I can’t read the bottle
label.
SG: Let me have a taste.
OTWN (hedging the risk that he
could be talking to an ex-Pope.):
I thought you were “all-knowing”.
SG: I am. But I’m thirsty too.
OTWN: Well?
SG: This wine hails from an area
just a bit south of MY DOMAIN.
OTWN: Is that bad?
SG: Let me have another sip.
Jeopardy…
Answer: Sonoma Coast
OWTN Question: What is the
California AVA that encompasses
a confusing area of land that
produces wines that only
saints and lemming herders
can love?.
Long live lemming herders.
And pilgrims that can cover
the 80 miles from from Bodega Bay
to Mendocino without dying
of thirst.
(I’m leaving the saints to fend
for themselves and I don’t care
if the pilgrims are long-lived.)
Might I suggest that they
(saints, lemmings, and
pilgrims) fill their
camel packs with
THIS WINE.
(I’m an equal opportunity
offerer of fine wine advice.)
UN
FREAKING
BE
LEE
VA
BULL
Hang in there.
P.S.
Imaginary Editor: You
didn’t say anything intelligent
about the wine.
OTWN: What wine?
IE: The Ant wine.
OTWN: I don’t remember
drinking it.
IE: But you just finished
half a bottle.
OTWN: It must have been
good.
IE: Well then write something
intelligent.
OTWN: I’m an option trader dude,
not a silly wine lover.
IE: Let me see your P&L.
OTWN: Here.
IE (after reading the P&L):
Let me pour you another drink
while you reconsider your forte.
After drinking that Sprockets
White with the PN in it, I have
decided that…
Man cannot live by PN RED alone,
he must have sparkling/dry white and rosé.
I might have to start including
St. Gregory in my “conversations”,
but I’ll have to decide WHICH ONE.
(Saint, not conversation, don’t
be silly.)
St. Gregory: Why are you choking?
OTWN: I read that the northern CA
vineyards were at risk of being
incinerated.
SG: Heaven forbid.
OWTN: That’s what we said, but
the fires kept raging.
SG: Relax my son, your
heavenly Father knows what’s best.
OTWN: You mean like burning the PN
vines?.
SG: Don’t be silly.
OTWN (aside):
Maybe I, and my
imaginary readers and interlocutors
should stop accusing each other
of being silly.
SG: He’s probably recommending the
2005 Borgogne commune
wines if you’re on a budget.
OTWN: He knows me pretty well.
How about a bubbly?
SG: Now you’re talkin’ MY book
brother.
Hand me your flute.
I
WANT
A
MENDOCINO
BRUT ROSÉ
PN(/CHARD?)
BUBBLY
AND
I
WANT
IT
RIGHT
NOW.
Obviously, this wine is an
excellent libation.
It’s like drinking lipstick
in the most delicious way
imaginable.
In the lighter wines, the PN
perfume becomes flavor.
This is the second time recently
that I have come to this
“infusion conclusion”.
One good wine deserves another.
The wine is like a springboard
that offers you several ways to jump.
i.e. Bubbly white?, still white,
bubbly rosé, or still red.
Take a sip…
Try to imagine the bubbly playing
games with your tongue.
Try to image the white daring
you to find a soft fruit flavor
behind the veil of acidity.
Or try to imagine the red with
a hint of perfume and an
abundance of soft red fruit
flavor preserved with a
gentle splash of pucker potion.
For me, the answer is simple.
All of the above.
And for the uninitiated that
don’t get headaches easily…
Maybe they run the skins and seeds
though a wringer so they get every
last bit of “stuff” off/out of them.
This one is “richer” than I might
expect.
The tannins keep it from being an
easy drinking fruit bomb.
Then there is this pale herbiness.
Like maybe a combination of basil
and mint.
I’m having it with free food.
Maggiano’s Mom’s Lasagne.
It’s ALL RIGHT.
To be any better it would have to
have just a wee bit less fennel
(It. sausage?) and the wine would
have to be Barbaresco.
I could get used to the fennel,
but I will never get used to
Barbaresco substitutes.
So…
When I received this wine in the
6/$60 deal, I glanced at the label
and saw “Wine of xxxxNIA Vintage 2017”.
My mind turned the incomprehensible into
“CaliforNIA”.
Oh boy, another WHATEVER wine.
NOT SO.
This wine is a treat and is
recommended to PN lovers.
I just might have the wine leftovers
with chicken thighs braised with
garlic and thyme.
There’s still a few sips left for today and
I AM enjoying each one.
Was there a hint of chocolate in that sip?
Chocolate covered wild cherries
with a hint of mint.
I should get a prize for drinking
ONLY half of THIS bottle.
Or something…
St. Peter: We weren’t expecting you.
OTWN: I suffocated.
SP: HOW?
OTWN: I tried to hold my breath until
I could finish that Romanian PN.
SP: Here, take a sip of this,
it will make you feel better.
OTWN: What is it?
SP: Your leftovers.
OTWN: Good heavens.
Day Two…
I did make the braised chicken
thighs.
Theresa brought home a loaf of ciabatta
yesterday, so I adorned pieces of that
with SmartBalance and let them warm up
in the skillet at the end of the braising
time.
So good.
Notwithstanding the tannins, I actually
found myself trying to “chug” the wine.
Saint Peter: Why did you
drink that disgusting, generic
Castle Rock stuff?
OTWN: I couldn’t afford anything
better.
SP: Why didn’t you work harder?
OTWN: I was always hung over.
SP: You didn’t HAVE TO drink
ALL the time. Did you?
OTWN: No, but I became an
option trader late in life.
SP: You’ve suffered enough brother,
follow me.
Wife: Wake up, wake up,
you were smiling in your sleep.
OWTN: HE let ME in!!!
W: It was just a dream.
After you take the trash out,
go stand in the corner.
You’ll need the practice.
Finances dictate that SOME
of the stuff I drink be
“affordable”.
I can’t imagine what the
“Vintner’s Sewage” is like.
No matter.
The FIRST thing I encounter
in a respectable PN is the perfume.
This perfume is like that worn
by a high school coed at homecoming.
Best appreciated from the opposing stands.
That’s not to say that it
is NOT seductive, it just takes
more effort than I can muster
to appreciate.
But, but, but…
Let me warm up to it a bit.
Ah yes. After two hot dogs
with mustard, this wine is
coming into it’s own.
A match made in perdition.
Saint Peter: You weren’t going
to survive the torture for
buying cheap wine. You are
lucky to be here.
OTWN: What does LUCK have
to do with it?
SP: It’s just a figure of
speech.
OTWN: Yeah? Then you are
holier than thou.
SP: Go stand in the corner.
OTWN: But they’re wearing
cheerleader’s outfits.
SP: Have something against
cross-dressers?
OTWN: What kind of perfume
are they wearing?
OTWN: My headaches won’t
go away.
Doctor: What kind of diet
are you on?
OTWN: Pinot Noir.
Doctor: How much do you
drink?
OTWN: Not enough, apparently.
Doctor: Why don’t you
try something different?
OTWN: What could be better
than headaches?
But, but, but
what is the wine like?
It’s like something your boss
gives you for Christmas.
Happy Trails, Hans…
Or maybe it’s as beautiful
as this little nightingale…
Today is the day before
the much awaited FOMC
announcement regarding
INTEREST RATES.
Who cares?
I do, but I feel like I’m…
For the irrelevant-old-music-
awareness-challenged folk
among us, that’s
“Waiting for the Robert E. Lee”.
For the irrelevent-old-musical-
instrument-awareness-challenged
folk among us, the awful sound
comes from a kal-ee-ohp.
What does this have to do
with the wine???
Obviously, there’s a place
for everything.
However, there may NOT be…
Let me tidy up and make
make room for this one.
I’m trying to decide what
NOT to have with lunch as
I sip this indescribably
delicious STUFF.
I’ll be in heaven before
I get hungry.
Saint Peter: You look horrible.
Why did you starve to death?
OTWN: I couldn’t decide
what to eat.
SP: What were you drinking?
OTWN: Adelsheim.
SP: Did you finish it?
OTWN: Go sit in the corner.
Story time…
This wine came from the
Paola store.
I passed it over several
times as I attempted to
keep my “bottle average”
down to something what wouldn’t
give rise to “corner time”.
Finally, I couldn’t resist.
I KNEW how good it was going
to be because I DISTINCTLY
REMEMBER having it at the
“elevator restaurant” on a
special occasion.
It is amazing how good one’s
memory can be when it comes to
things WORTH REMEMBERING.
Sheesh.
I think “describing” this
wine would be “irreverent”.
I wouldn’t want to be
irreverent.
…
In the days of milk
and honey, the fermentation
fairies descended upon
Earth and bestowed
greatness unto the grapes.
In an attempt to capture
the fairy essence, the
Earthlings bottled the grape
juice and discovered…
Obviously, some Earthling
fossils drank too much and got
carried away with their praise.
…
Day two…
This wine is like a daydream of
curling up on a lawn chair
in late September, lying in full sun,
and soaking up the last few
rays of autumn sun.
Oh wait a minute. That’s reality.
The wine was REALLY good too.
SP: Did you enjoy the warm
autumn days that we blessed
your planet with?
OTWN: Yes, I had the Adelsheim.
SP: Excellent. Why are you
wearing all those clothes?
Here, take my hand…
Butt, butt, butt,
what is the wine like?
It’s like a PLEASANT rebirth
experience.
A veritable…
SP: Why are you trembling?
OTWN: I just finished the Adelsheim.
SP: Open another bottle.
OTWN: No, I mean totally gone.
SP: Why are you HERE then?
OTWN: I had a heart attack
when I realized I couldn’t
afford to buy more.
SP: OK then. Go through
the gate, veer right and
take this chalice to the
first deva you see.
OTWN: Then what?
SP (looking toward
the corner): Move it.
This is the wine from
the Paola store that I
PREVIOUSLY purchased
at a “negotiated price”
because the vintage
WAS SUSPICIOUSLY OLD.
This is a repeat at
full price ($23).
I enjoyed the first
bottle so much that I
decided to pay up for
a second bottle in an
attempt to redeem myself
for “cheating” on the
first bottle.
I think I paid $12 or
so for the first bottle.
Maybe the wine is a bit
old, but it shows up as
a very mellow blend of
flavors and qualities.
The fruit marries the oak.
The acidity marries the tannins.
Flavor marries paleness.
This works NOW
but would obviously
degenerate over time.
For the time being, it
is quite delicious.
To me anyway.
I have no idea whether
this wine is actually
GOOD or not.
Don’t care either.
Story time…
Years ago I thought it
would be interesting to
try the PNs of CA going
from north to south.
Starting in Medocino,
I got lost after drinking
just a few wines.
I knew that the Russian
River AVA was in my path
but I never figured out
how to get there.
One obstacle was price.
I have not made it a point
to purposefully try RR PNs,
but this wine has me thinking.
What WAS I thinking?
I don’t know.
I’m thinking NOW that
I better get my fill
before CA burns up or
falls in the ocean.
Saint Peter: Do you
remember California?
OTWN: Wasn’t that a
vegetable dish?
SP: Don’t you ever
get tired of being
punished?
OTWN: I’m getting
used to it.
SP: What kind of
wine went with
California?
OTWN: Anything not
exported to Peru.
SP: Help me with
these Alpaca harnesses.
The wine almost tastes
moldy.
In a most delightful way.
The only KNOCK on this
wine is the high ALC
level.
At 14.5%, it is above my
maximum of 13.5%.
So what?
So, I have to to be
REAL CAREFUL not to drink
TOO MUCH of this one
in one sitting.
Option Trader's Wine Notes 