If that’s all I say then
that should motivate you
to sell everything and
get to the liquor store.
It took me a “few sips”
to get into it, but this
wine is…
I DON’T KNOW.
GOOD?
I don’t even know where
the wine comes from. Yet.
Don’t care.
Didn’t bother reading the label.
I still haven’t “gone educational”
and I’m past the shoulder.
Taurus?
Sagittarius?
Oh, how silly of me…
I CAN’T HELP IT.
This Pinot Noir goes with yellow pants.
Swiveling hips.
Harmony.
Brown skin.
Brotherly love.
Puppies and kittens.
Warm solar rays on a cold day.
Commission-free option trades.
Oops, I’m Earthbound and down…
And for the record…
Brown Lab: Am I your favorite
thing?
OWTN: Well Sweetie, there are
lots of “things” out there.
BL: Well, am I your favorite
BROWN thing?
OTWN: I don’t know. There’s
chocolate and…
BL: Then am I your favorite brown
thing that poops in the yard?
OTWN (thinking seriously):
Well maybe. At least until
I catch Halle Berry
poopin’ in my yard.
Look at those GSDs. Based upon their
“positioning”, I’d say they are more
intelligent than central bankers.
See how “interesting” this wine
is?
Saint Peter: Why does your brain
look like swiss cheese?
OTWN: I lived on Earth.
SP: Why didn’t you take drugs
like everybody else?
OTWN: I wasn’t thinking.
SP: Nobody else was. Why should
you be different?
OTWN: I drank Pinot Noir.
SP: Ah yes. What kind did
you like the best?
OTWN: I don’t know. My eyesight
got blurry by the time I
got curious about what I was
drinking.
SP: Saint Gregory should be able
to fix your eyesight.
OTWN: Which one?
SP: Huh?
OTWN: Which saint, not which eye,
don’t be silly.
SP: Go stand in the corner and
don’t trip over those CAB drinkers.
Prequel…
St. Gregory (du jour): How can
I help you my son?
OTWN: I can’t read the bottle
label.
SG: Let me have a taste.
OTWN (hedging the risk that he
could be talking to an ex-Pope.):
I thought you were “all-knowing”.
SG: I am. But I’m thirsty too.
OTWN: Well?
SG: This wine hails from an area
just a bit south of MY DOMAIN.
OTWN: Is that bad?
SG: Let me have another sip.
Jeopardy…
Answer: Sonoma Coast
OWTN Question: What is the
California AVA that encompasses
a confusing area of land that
produces wines that only
saints and lemming herders
can love?.
Long live lemming herders.
And pilgrims that can cover
the 80 miles from from Bodega Bay
to Mendocino without dying
of thirst.
(I’m leaving the saints to fend
for themselves and I don’t care
if the pilgrims are long-lived.)
Might I suggest that they
(saints, lemmings, and
pilgrims) fill their
camel packs with
THIS WINE.
(I’m an equal opportunity
offerer of fine wine advice.)
UN
FREAKING
BE
LEE
VA
BULL
Hang in there.
P.S.
Imaginary Editor: You
didn’t say anything intelligent
about the wine.
OTWN: What wine?
IE: The Ant wine.
OTWN: I don’t remember
drinking it.
IE: But you just finished
half a bottle.
OTWN: It must have been
good.
IE: Well then write something
intelligent.
OTWN: I’m an option trader dude,
not a silly wine lover.
IE: Let me see your P&L.
OTWN: Here.
IE (after reading the P&L):
Let me pour you another drink
while you reconsider your forte.
After drinking that Sprockets
White with the PN in it, I have
decided that…
Man cannot live by PN RED alone,
he must have sparkling/dry white and rosé.
I might have to start including
St. Gregory in my “conversations”,
but I’ll have to decide WHICH ONE.
(Saint, not conversation, don’t
be silly.)
St. Gregory: Why are you choking?
OTWN: I read that the northern CA
vineyards were at risk of being
incinerated.
SG: Heaven forbid.
OWTN: That’s what we said, but
the fires kept raging.
SG: Relax my son, your
heavenly Father knows what’s best.
OTWN: You mean like burning the PN
vines?.
SG: Don’t be silly.
OTWN (aside):
Maybe I, and my
imaginary readers and interlocutors
should stop accusing each other
of being silly.
SG: He’s probably recommending the
2005 Borgogne commune
wines if you’re on a budget.
OTWN: He knows me pretty well.
How about a bubbly?
SG: Now you’re talkin’ MY book
brother.
Hand me your flute.
I
WANT
A
MENDOCINO
BRUT ROSÉ
PN(/CHARD?)
BUBBLY
AND
I
WANT
IT
RIGHT
NOW.
Obviously, this wine is an
excellent libation.
It’s like drinking lipstick
in the most delicious way
imaginable.
In the lighter wines, the PN
perfume becomes flavor.
This is the second time recently
that I have come to this
“infusion conclusion”.
One good wine deserves another.
The wine is like a springboard
that offers you several ways to jump.
i.e. Bubbly white?, still white,
bubbly rosé, or still red.
Take a sip…
Try to imagine the bubbly playing
games with your tongue.
Try to image the white daring
you to find a soft fruit flavor
behind the veil of acidity.
Or try to imagine the red with
a hint of perfume and an
abundance of soft red fruit
flavor preserved with a
gentle splash of pucker potion.
For me, the answer is simple.
All of the above.
And for the uninitiated that
don’t get headaches easily…
Saint Peter: Look at me. I can’t
see your face.
OTWN: I grew up in the 60s.
SP: So. You’re bald now.
Quit pretending you have hair.
OTWN: I thought I would be
RESTORED here.
SP: You were born bald.
OTWN: I can’t win.
SP: What game do you think
we’re playing?
OTWN: Winner take all?
SP: What’s YOUR ante?
OTWN: I still have half of
this St. Laurent.
SP: WE win. Go stand in
the corner.
So, it was “reasonable” to question
whether Riesling was in there.
Also, check the reference to
“capsaicin”.
That could be the “harshness”
I’m detecting, but I would never
make the connection.
Day Two…
This wine is SIMPLY STUNNING.
A German-style white with just
a tiny bit of sweetness to balance
the gratuitous and appreciated acidity.
All the usual suspects in
the flavor department.
With each sip, you try to
find a fault, but none appears.
Nothing but pure pleasure.
Chef’s note: I cooked the
rice in a LOW and SLOW manner,
allowing the grains to FULLY
absorb the moisture and
seasoning flavors required
to make the rice EDIBLE.
Freaking delicious.
Saint Peter: You’re out of
breath. What happened?
OTWN: I was running away
from a rice stampede and…
SP: Did it catch you?
OTWN: Yes, I tripped and
was instantly covered by a
mountain of cereal grain.
SP: You’re lucky it wasn’t
potatoes.
OTWN: Lovely, but I’m dead
and my favorite wine is
buried under the rice.
SP: You can’t have everything.
OTWN: But I’m dead now.
SP: Hand me your glass.
OTWN: Hey, that’s my Sprockets!
SP: Possessive you are.
OWTN: Gimme that bottle.
I’ll pour YOU some if you’re good.
SP: I was just going to admit you.
OTWN: Hand me your glass.
Let’s not put this one to
bed without “researching”
the Huxelrebe grape…
The low (12%) ALC tempts
me to enjoy for a longer
time/volume than I normally
would at one sitting.
Lest you disremember…
Buelton is one of the
points in the MAGIC triangle
or trapezoid that is
located in Santa Barbara
and it should be
no surprise that an excellent
Gamay Noir comes from this
area since the grape of note
heretofore for me is Pinot Noir.
…one is left drooling
and pining for an Oregon offering.
This note ends abruptly because
I was totally distracted by
the wine AND OTHER THINGS.
I just wish I could remember
to try this one again.
Let me see…
Sommelier: If I were you, I
would try this SoCal Gamay Noir.
OTWN: But you ain’t me.
Sommelier: You should try it
no matter who I am.
OTWN: What if you’re not really
a Sommelier?
Sommelier: Look, just try this
GN. It’s freaking good.
OTWN: It’s not French.
Sommelier: It’s better than
French.
OTWN: That doesn’t make sense.
Sommelier: I’m a wine expert dude,
not a logician.
OTWN: Prove it.
Saint Peter: It looks like you
died penniless and destitute.
What happened?
OTWN: I started taking Barbaresco
baths and then the money ran out.
SP: What about the lovely white
wines we afforded you.
OWTN: They didn’t get me clean
and I didn’t smell as good after bathing.
SP: I would tell you to go stand
in the corner but I’m afraid that
you would scare everybody.
YOU’RE PURPLE!
Other that the fact that this
wine is “perfect”, one observation
is that there is the SLIGHTEST
honeycomb flavor in it.
Or maybe it’s extra virgin olive
oil.
Or tropical fruit.
Or citrus.
So clean and crisp.
What’s that “green” thing
I’m tasting?
Like that.
Perfect.
This wine was consumed
with the Thanksgiving leftovers.
Option Trader's Wine Notes 