Underwood Rosé IN A CAN

What am I missing?

Not a thing apparently.

So much for glass…

https://www.npr.org/2017/07/21/538472671/world-faces-global-sand-shortage

We don’t need no
stinkin’ containers,
hand me that goat
bladder full of Zin.

(Don’t ask for it
on the rocks.)

I DON’T KNOW, but
the low ALC leads me
to believe that there
is a wee bit of sugar
in this one.

That’s OK, it GOES
WITH the potato salad.

(Are they dating?)

Wine Babe: I have a date,
I’m leaving.
Single Mom: Who is it?
WB: Mr. Potato Head.
SM: Are you “going
with” HIM?
WB: Sure, he’s a bit
starchy, but he has
great tubers.
SM: Does he have any
leafy green friends?
WB: Oh, you mean Mr.
Pot Head?

This is WAY TO EASY
to drink.

Sheesh.

Story Time…

My first “wine experience”
was “Boone’s Farm” during
freaking MARDI GRAS in
1970.

I brought three friends
home to NOLA from my
“religious school” in
Birmingham AL just for
the weekend before
Mardi Gras.

One of my “friends” was
a rich kid with a brand
new Gran Torino.

Saturday night was party
time as I gathered up
several of my local church
misfits to help us
celebrate my
first +18yo “outing”.

You could drink
ANYTHING legally in
NOLA if you were
18, or younger if
the cashier was a
friend or even a young
person, or you had
an older brother,
or you stole liquor
out of the back of
WRECKED cars, yada,
yada, yada.

Nobody checked.

WHAT
A
MESS

SOME OF US
survived and
I learned to
eschew cheap wine.

I also learned to
consult the dictionary
before writing words
whose meaning escapes
me.

(You got that right.)

On the other hand…

CHEAP = FUN = GOOD

(I majored in MATH
when I was sober.)

But, but, but…

What about the wine?

Buy more, drink more.

How hard is that?

Crash Victim: I
should have bought
more insurance.
Option Trader: I
can sell you a good
policy on your
totaled vehicle.
CV: Why?
OT: So you won’t lose
MORE money if you total
it again.
CV: Where do I sign?
OT: Right under “loser”.
CV: How do I know you
can pay up?
OT: Your car isn’t worth
anything NOW.
CV: Oh yeah, OK.

And just in case you
have the 23rd, 20th, and
6th letters of the alphabet
wedged between your ears…

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/reo+speedwagon/ridin+the+storm+out_20115772.html

Hang in there.